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Slipping Through My Fingers All The Time

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It's 2 in the morning and I'm sitting here in my quiet house at my computer. Everyone else is asleep and I'm reflecting on how far we've come in this house. When we moved into this house it was my dream house. A 4 bedroom, 2 bath ranch style house on over an acre of land outside of town. It's everything I had ever wanted. I was pregnant with Nicholas when we moved in... my third and final child. Claudia was not quite 2 and Will was 3 1/2. They were babies and I knew this would be a great place to raise them. I was right. This home has been everything we ever needed it to be. And my babies have grown from babies to teenagers in this house before my eyes. William is 18 - technically an adult! He's starting college classes in just a couple of weeks and has been talking with a Navy recruiter about heading off to boot camp at the beginning of next year. The thought of my boy joining the Navy fills me with both dread and pride... but mostly pride. He's becom

That time a hot dog almost killed me

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Last night I ate a hot dog. Not a vegan dog. A real, beef, hot dog. It isn't the first time I've vegan cheated, but it may be the most memorable. I mean, I hope it is anyway. Seriously. Love cows. I mean LOOK at this. I've been vegan for 2 1/2 months now and overall I'm super happy with it. I'm still fat and that kinda pisses me off - but other than that, I feel better and I think I'm healthier. And I can not feel so hypocritical when I say I love cows. Cause I totally LOVE cows. But last night I was making hot dogs for my family - my very not vegan family. I still make them food. *sigh* Anyway - before going vegan I loved hot dogs. I mean, I guess I still love hot dogs. Or I did until last night. I know, hot dogs are gross. Out of all the meat products someone could love why would anyone choose a hot dog? I don't know, y'all. I love those disgusting meat tubes. So as I was making hot dogs I thought to my self, "Self, one hot dog isn't

I'm too tired to figure out pictures for this post.

Happy Valentine's Day. It's 3:09 AM as I type this. I was all ready to go to bed around 11pm. That's pretty early for me so instead of going straight to bed I decided to indulge in my most guilty pleasure - The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills . I am such a whore for the drama, man. That Dorit - she's such a pot stirrer. It was a little after midnight when I was sliding the iPad under the bed (that's where I keep it when I'm not using it to watch The Real Housewives ) and snuggling into my covers. The Man came in and said "Well, your dog ran off. Screw him." The Man will totally just let the dog stay out all night and give no cares. He is not going to chase him or drive around or whatever. If the dog is dumb enough to run off, the dog deserves what he gets. I, on the other hand, immediately jump out of bed and put my oversized sweatpants on to go find the dog. He could get hit by a car or bit by a raccoon or snatched up and taken to doggie jail. I ne

Who is this man where my little boy used to be?

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Today I drove my youngest child to school. He normally takes the bus but a couple of times a week he has to be there early to go to jazz band practice. The Man usually takes him because our sleep schedules are crazy and he's normally still awake - but this morning I was awake and The Man was asleep so we hopped in the car. This morning's conversation was centered on these two girls who are in several of his classes. They are super flirty and Nicholas just doesn't know what to do with them. He thinks one of them is pretty cute and actually asked her to go skating with him a few months ago but he was brutally rebuffed. It seems that the girl has since changed her tune and is vying for his attention. My son, however, isn't going to ask her out again. Not even for the Valentine's Day dance that's coming up this week. Nope - she had her chance. "She keeps telling me she likes my jawline, Mom. What does that even mean?" And I look over at my handsome

Letting Go of the Mom Guilt

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My kids are 14, 16, and 18 and I'm still dealing with mom guilt. It never goes away. I wonder if I'll still have it when they are 24, 26, and 28. I'll have to ask my mom. In fact, Domestic Spaz , my previous blog, was pretty much inspired by my mom guilt. The whole thing centered on how I felt I was failing as a mother. I mean, I tried to make it funny - have a little laugh about it. I was relatable... because we all feel like we're failing as a mother. So my failures, my mishaps, probably made some other moms feel better about their own failures and their own mishaps. On Mondays my youngest, Nicholas, has Boy Scouts. My husband, The Man, had a meeting to attend and our oldest, William, was working. We do have a car for Will to use but it's an old Honda Accord and it has an airbag recall. I just haven't been comfortable with him driving it until we got the airbag recall done so he had my van. (Sidenote: we got the airbag recall fixed yesterday so all is good.)

7 Tips for Transitioning to a Vegan Diet

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So I went vegan. Ish . I mean, should I call myself a vegan? I'm still carrying my Coach purse and I didn't harass the waitress at lunch the other day to find out if the veggie burger I ordered was actually vegan or just vegetarian. My mini van has leather seats and I'm not giving up my Merrell boots or my wool socks when I find myself miserably in a cold climate. Will I buy new animal based products? Probably not - but I'm not going to burn the ones I already have. I feel like the word "vegan" has so many meanings to so many people and I'd really like to come up with another word. Maybe I'll just call myself an herbivore. If you say "vegan" to people who are vehemently clinging on to their love of meat and cheese, you are inevitably met with immediate reactions. Like - everyone feels the need to either attack the vegan, make fun of the vegan, tell the vegan a story about a vegan they knew that was hospitalized, or just defend their dec

New and Improved

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Who starts a brand new blog in 2018? I mean, if you haven't been doing this for a while, what's even the point? It's time for new and fresh. How cliche of me to start out a brand new year speaking of new and fresh? But who doesn't start out a brand new year with resolve and the fresh, clean scent of change in their nostrils? I need to start writing again. It was a little over 10 years ago that I started Domestic Spaz and a little over a year ago that I finally, completely abandoned it. I'm hoping this space can be a little different - more about me and who I am. That sounds impossibly self-centered.... and perhaps it is. So here we go with 2018 and I am making some changes... changes I've attempted to make before and failed... but changes that I continue to want and need. I've spent the last many years neglecting my body and my spirituality and not being true to my own convictions. So here I sit, 40 years old and finally learning that being true to mys