Beth Rachel Hubbard

My kids are 14, 16, and 18 and I'm still dealing with mom guilt. It never goes away. I wonder if I'll still have it when they are 24, 26, and 28. I'll have to ask my mom. In fact, Domestic Spaz , my previous blog, was pretty much inspired by my mom guilt. The whole thing centered on how I felt I was failing as a mother. I mean, I tried to make it funny - have a little laugh about it. I was relatable... because we all feel like we're failing as a mother. So my failures, my mishaps, probably made some other moms feel better about their own failures and their own mishaps. On Mondays my youngest, Nicholas, has Boy Scouts. My husband, The Man, had a meeting to attend and our oldest, William, was working. We do have a car for Will to use but it's an old Honda Accord and it has an airbag recall. I just haven't been comfortable with him driving it until we got the airbag recall done so he had my van. (Sidenote: we got the airbag recall fixed yesterday so all is good.)

So I went vegan. Ish . I mean, should I call myself a vegan? I'm still carrying my Coach purse and I didn't harass the waitress at lunch the other day to find out if the veggie burger I ordered was actually vegan or just vegetarian. My mini van has leather seats and I'm not giving up my Merrell boots or my wool socks when I find myself miserably in a cold climate. Will I buy new animal based products? Probably not - but I'm not going to burn the ones I already have. I feel like the word "vegan" has so many meanings to so many people and I'd really like to come up with another word. Maybe I'll just call myself an herbivore. If you say "vegan" to people who are vehemently clinging on to their love of meat and cheese, you are inevitably met with immediate reactions. Like - everyone feels the need to either attack the vegan, make fun of the vegan, tell the vegan a story about a vegan they knew that was hospitalized, or just defend their dec

Who starts a brand new blog in 2018? I mean, if you haven't been doing this for a while, what's even the point? It's time for new and fresh. How cliche of me to start out a brand new year speaking of new and fresh? But who doesn't start out a brand new year with resolve and the fresh, clean scent of change in their nostrils? I need to start writing again. It was a little over 10 years ago that I started Domestic Spaz and a little over a year ago that I finally, completely abandoned it. I'm hoping this space can be a little different - more about me and who I am. That sounds impossibly self-centered.... and perhaps it is. So here we go with 2018 and I am making some changes... changes I've attempted to make before and failed... but changes that I continue to want and need. I've spent the last many years neglecting my body and my spirituality and not being true to my own convictions. So here I sit, 40 years old and finally learning that being true to mys